we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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