dude i'm inner monologue high
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize