Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
