What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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