i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
