it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
