When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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