I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
So squirting runs in the family.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
