new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i would punch a child for taco bell
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
