What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
