Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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