At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
