So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
