No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
