Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
