I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm experimenting with sincerity
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize