I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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