whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
