I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize