And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize
