How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
