matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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