Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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