How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
