I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
