oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
