Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
