Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My first STD was from a foam party
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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