It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
