I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
