If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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