fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
