Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
