I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
