Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
