Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize