Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
