During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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