FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
