reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize