operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm at about main and main street
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
