Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I need a beard to bite.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
