so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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