does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
