u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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