at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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