I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Swine flu. Run for my life!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize