How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
