Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
