I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize