okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
