Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize