babies were throwing up all over the place
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
