its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
