If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize