my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
