marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
