just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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