she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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