I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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