READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
