I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
