Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
