just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You are a genius and a whore.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
